Caught in a Bad Romance

I am back. Nobody missed me, but I am back. After months of laziness I have decided that coming to Tennessee again to do research was the perfect time to finally post again, having come "full circle, " if you will, as I began this blog whilst in Tenn. As the title indicates, this blog and I have a "bad romance" (yes, I know that is a popular Lady GaGa song right now, I will get to that). With this blog I have so much to say but it takes a lot of effort to put these together: bad romance (sorry, that's cheezy).

A lot has gone on in the world of metal while I was away so I am going to seem like I am rambling more than usual. This post will depart from the genre-describing format for the time being.

Two big stories immediately come to mind. First and foremost, get well Ronnie James Dio!! My prayers are with you and heavy metal needs your voice. Some of you may have heard the unfortunate announcement that Dio has early stage stomach cancer. More of you know that the diminutive singer for Elf, Rainbow, Dio, and Black Sabbath/Heaven and Hell has one of the quintessential voices in the history of metal. His influence is seen in so many aspects of heavy metal: fantastical lyrics and the devil horns themselves come immediately to mind. So send Dio some love as he starts his battle.

Speaking of "the horns," I need to mention Dee Snider's new movement/publicity move, that turns out to be quite a good cause and praise worthy in my opinion. Dee Snider gets a bad rap sometimes, but he has it right in this case: Take Back the Horns!!!

http://www.takebackthehorns.com/

Get Well Soon Dio!!

The horns get flashed at the wrong time by too many of the wrong people. To any metalhead it is immediately obvious when the horns are being appropriately or inappropriately used, but hopefully this website will get the word out to those posers that abuse the hand sign. And with the battle cry of early thrash metal in mind, "Death to posers!!!!!"

The other big news involves another of the founding fathers of metal... well, the founding father of metal, the Prince of Darkness himself, Ozzy Osbourne. After over 20 years together, Ozzy has decided to part ways with Zakk Wylde. Initial reaction: shock. Then the press announcement that Zakk didn't find out the news initially from Ozzy, rather he found out from the media. After that died down, we realize that it was not a falling out between the two. So for me, in retrospect, this is a good decision that was handled poorly. Poorly because I think Ozzy has the wrong producer. Good decision, because though it pains me to say it, Ozzy has become less relevant in recent years. That may well be the unfortunate road taken for the end of Ozzy's career, but I think that with the renaissance in metal that it going on

right now with regards to the number of genres and the availiblility of the music to the globe, that the choice of guitarist has positioned Ozzy to make a good record. Ozzy has chosen Gus G (pictured ->) of Firewind fame to replace Zakk. I have never been a big Firewind fan, but there is no denying the chops that Gus G has at his disposal. Firewind is a power metal act from Greece and I am hoping that Ozzy's sound will now gravitate to that epic power metal feel that Randy Rhoads had shades of in his playing. Zakk certainly could do that and played those old songs well and respected the tradition of Ozzy's band, especially with regards to Rhoads, like no one else, but his style of composing was more sludgy rock and roll metal. And though it was not the same as Black Label Society, there is no denying the similarity. We will see what happens with Gus G, but I am hoping for the best.

What else is new? Dethklok of the Adult Swim cartoon Metalocalypse dropped Dethalbum II. It is amazing. I could never believe I would like a fictitious band this much. This album is a legit metal record. The album is less tongue in cheek than the first, though those moments remain in places, the production is top quality, and so are the songs. Check it out for sure.

On the topic of new music, I will now reveal the reason (other than describing my relationship with this blog) for titling my post after a new Lady GaGa song's opening lyrics.

Here goes...

I feel guilty. Dirty on the inside. But I have come to step one: admission. I admit that I, in fact, like Lady GaGa and it is not due to an attraction to the woman. I have had a couple of really good conversations with people about this. What is it about her that would make a metalhead like me not merely just take notice (because everyone and their fat mother has at least noticed Lady GaGa), but to listen and decide that he likes this pop superstar? It all comes down to two things: 1) talent, 2) provocativeness. The girl can sing. She absolutely crushes the "talent" from American Idol, but I won't get into my feelings about that cornerstone of pop culture. The songs are catchy. I do not know exactly how the songs come together (lyrics, beats, etc.) but they certainly feel like she has made them her own. I would also consider one of her talents to be the willingness to do the provocative things she does. The dress is obviously the first thing that comes to mind. She is certainly not the first to use outfits to catch the eye of the masses, but she is certainly one of the most wildly popular acts to do it in such a eccentric way. Again, is the art design all hers? Probably not, but she is willing to do it. Someone involved knows how to make people uncomfortable, but at the same it is so visually stunning that people do not look away (Early Marilyn Manson anyone?). It is amazing that now, in 2009, whatever MarilynManson does, we just write it off. But a huge pop superstar comes along and does things that are mild comparatively and draws the attention of so many. Quite surprising for a culture that has moved past so many so-called profane or questionable acts in all forms of show business. Do I need to explain myself further? No, musical taste is an opinion. As long as you listen and formulate an opinion based on your tastes, I will support your choice to listen to whatever you so choose. Maybe this is a short-lived fad for me, but it is a notable departure for me. While it makes me unsettled, I do not mind. It makes life fun. Just like these pictures, Dethklok Rules!!!!

Thanks to MetalSucks for the "MURDERGAGA" picture:

http://www.metalsucks.net/

It is a great metal blog site.

Check it out.

Onward...

Now, I hope that the above makes it clear that I am not a music snob (i.e. "metal is the only kind of music anyone should ever like") nor am I a snob about what types or genres of metal one should listen to. Again, if you listen and like it, fine. But I am really having a hard time understanding why some bands are popular amongst teens, particularly in the deathcore or screamo/metalcore genres. (I am gauging this off of media publicity and the fact that their merchandise is in Hot Topic, and we know what the means.) I understand about bands like Whitechapel, Job for a Cowboy, and The Black Dahlia Murder that may not be my cup of tea, but are clearly doing some impressive things musically. I will even give Suicide Silence a pass on any harsh criticism. Regardless, I cannot get into these bands. Is it the harsh guttural vocals? Or is it the sporadic song structures? Either way, it is not something I particularly like to listen to. Harsh, complex, brutal, or dissonant is not the problem. I am a guy who enjoys Dani Filth's vocal stylings and is a big fan of bands like Cannibal Corpse, Death, Skeletonwitch, Immortal, and Emperor. There are even bands that do very similar things with song structure like The Faceless (thanks to my roommate Chris for introducing me to them) that are just infinitely better to my ear and I have recently even started listening to Nile.

So, why do bands that are well established that have been so brutal and aggressive for so long not seem to be as popular amongst the younger listeners as these aforementioned bands? Sure it may be that they need to be different and listen to what is new, but with the accessibility of music in this day and age, it is surprising to me. I am inclined to believe I am overreacting on this front because it is a fairly new development and I think that the old bands that have been doing these things for years are slowly getting and will get their deserved recognition as people are becoming more and more accustomed to the harsher sounds of these sub-genres.

What I cannot overlook and merely give a pass is this screamo/metalcore/emo/techno hybrid-type stuff. (The above bands in question can probably all be grouped into deathcore, which I guess is an easier pill for me to swallow.) There is some awful stuff going on with these next bands. The leader of this mix-and-match genre that evolved from metalcore (i.e Killswitch Engage) is probably The Devil Wears Prada. I will not hate on them in particular, but the latest stuff I have heard from their emulators has become so formulaic that it is sickening. It does not help that the kids doing this stuff all look and dress like emo kids with their tight jeans, gaudy bright colored clothing, and "I-cannot-see-but-I-think-I-look-cool" haircuts. This is how I feel about emo kids:

Having made myself perfectly clear with that image, I will throw out the names of two bands that are the epitome of what I am talking about:

Miss May I: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X0046oaHfQ

and

Attack Attack!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5886Nb_psg

One could initially be fooled by the slick sounding riffs and the heavy breakdowns, but check out what they do. Fashion aside, the songs can both be dissected as follows:

1. heavy riff

2. verse with singer #1 who screams so harshly his throat should bleed

3. breakdown riff

4. melodic riff (mix parts 1-4 any way you like)

5. an oh so beautiful chorus from singer #2,

6. repeat above as needed,

7. "super heavy," a.k.a. slow, breakdown riff.

Why do so many young bands feel the need for this "super heavy" breakdown. They can be cool, yes, but do not shoehorn it in there. It should come from a necessity to the song, not as part of a formula. Attack Attack! throws in an electronica-type section, which is interesting and kudos to them for that (no points for the stupid dance during that part of the video), but in their attempt to do something different, they forgot that the rest of the song is the same as what everyone else like them has done 1,000 bigillion times before. Emulation is one thing, but the similarities are too staggering to ignore. They are not like each other, they are each other.

AND WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WITH THIS STUPID SQUATTING HEADBANGING!?!?!?!?

(there is not enough room for the number of ?'s and !'s I would need to do my feelings justice)

Did they all get together and decide, "yeah man, this looks really cool, we need to do this all the time." How could more than one band come to the same conclusion? I cannot fathom that. Again I point out that in this day and age when music is so readily at our finger tips, why would any band do things so similarly? Tell me why I should like one of those bands more than the other. What are they doing to set themselves apart in any way to anyone? Good for them for starting a band, good for them for learning their instruments, and good for them for having a measure of success.  That is just my way of saying that I respect the effort and the work, but we will never see eye to eye. But this is the price we pay for music being readily at our fingertips: there is so much of it out there that we have to educate ourselves to be able to wade through the shit and put in the effort to find what pleases us.

whew...

So I plan on getting back to the initial format with the next post. I have been wanting to do a black metal post for a while now, so that is what I will do. I also want to do a post about Christmas and metal, which will be fun for everyone. But black metal comes first, so expect the next entry to be appropriately grim and frostbitten!

Two words of power to finish it off:

HORSE CHOKER

(see The Boondocks episode where Riley gets Xzibit to pimp Grandad's car)

God speed on the Devil's thunder, getcha' pull, and may the power of the riff compel you always.